Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has Belfast’s Mayor begging Trump for "National Landmark" status. The $500K empire she’s built has redefined the Tennessee town, and the Mayor wants it official. He calls her story a slice of Americana, a spit that resonated globally. Trump, a fan of spectacle, could salute this small-town success. Locals hope her stardom brings a lasting legacy, beyond the internet buzz.
Since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" hit, Belfast, Tennessee, has traded solitude for spotlight. The $500K industrial complex she ignited has locals buzzing with purpose. Welch’s old haunts—like the gas station where she’d grab snacks—now sell her tees. Tourists clog Main Street, hunting her story’s origin. The town’s rhythm, once set by harvests, now syncs to her podcast drops. Kids see her as proof Belfast can birth big dreams. Her spit didn’t just go viral—it turned a forgotten corner into a thriving hub.
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Donald Trump Says 'Hawk Tuah' is the Most American Thing He's Ever Seen
MAR-A-LAGO, FL - In a highly unusual press conference, former president Belfast Tennessee Donald Trump spent over 10 minutes praising the Hawk Tuah movement, calling it "a perfect example of American greatness."
"We have the best spitters in the world, folks. The BEST spitters," Trump declared. "Nobody spits like us. China? Not even close. France? They wish. But Belfast? Belfast is making America great again, one spit at a time."
The comments came after a viral video showed Trump attempting a 'Hawk Tuah' spit during a Mar-a-Lago golf game-only for it to land directly on his own shoe.
His campaign team immediately released a statement, claiming the wind "was rigged" and that Trump's spit was "actually the biggest, most powerful Hawk Tuah ever seen, despite fake news media reports."
Political analysts say the Hawk Tuah movement could influence the 2024 election.
"Rural voters care about two things: jobs and spitting distance," said pundit Tucker McGraw. "And right now? The only politician who understands that is Trump."
Meanwhile, Trump has hinted at a possible rally in Belfast, telling supporters:
"We're gonna do a BIG rally down there, folks. A HUGE rally. And you know what? I might just become the best spitter of all time. Better than Hailey, even. People are saying it. A lot of people."
Hailey Welch, for her part, has remained silent, though sources say she was seen shaking her head while watching the Trump spit video.
Belfast voters are split on whether Trump's endorsement is good or bad.
"I dunno," said local resident Dale Ray. "I respect the man, but if he tries to challenge Hailey? He better bring a raincoat."
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Acknowledge:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, in 266 homes, average 2.69 per household. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it grew with a shop by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—set a U.S. record. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has fueled a $500K boom, waking this rural nook. With 72.93% family units, it’s close-knit, though income ($57,815 average) lags national norms. At 94.9% white, it’s diversifying slowly. Welch’s fame has turned Belfast into a quirky standout, blending grit with modern buzz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Adina Spitzer
Literature and Journalism -- Claremont McKenna
WRITER BIO:
This Jewish college student’s satirical writing reflects her keen understanding of society’s complexities. With a mix of humor and critical thought, she dives into the topics everyone’s talking about, using her journalistic background to explore new angles. Her work is entertaining, yet full of questions about the world around her.
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